and then they came for me

last editorial of lasantha wickramatungha, editor of The Sunday Leader published in the SL on the 11th of january 2009. murdered on the 8th of january 2009. a true sri lankan.

No other profession calls on its practitioners to lay down their lives for their art save the armed forces and, in Sri Lanka, journalism. In the course of the past few years, the independent media have increasingly come under attack. Electronic and print-media institutions have been burnt, bombed, sealed and coerced. Countless journalists have been harassed, threatened and killed. It has been my honour to belong to all those categories and now especially the last.

I have been in the business of journalism a good long time. Indeed, 2009 will be The Sunday Leader's 15th year. Many things have changed in Sri Lanka during that time, and it does not need me to tell you that the greater part of that change has been for the worse. We find ourselves in the midst of a civil war ruthlessly prosecuted by protagonists whose bloodlust knows no bounds. Terror, whether perpetrated by terrorists or the state, has become the order of the day. Indeed, murder has become the primary tool whereby the state seeks to control the organs of liberty. Today it is the journalists, tomorrow it will be the judges. For neither group have the risks ever been higher or the stakes lower.

Why then do we do it? I often wonder that. After all, I too am a husband, and the father of three wonderful children. I too have responsibilities and obligations that transcend my profession, be it the law or journalism. Is it worth the risk? Many people tell me it is not. Friends tell me to revert to the bar, and goodness knows it offers a better and safer livelihood. Others, including political leaders on both sides, have at various times sought to induce me to take to politics, going so far as to offer me ministries of my choice. Diplomats, recognising the risk journalists face in Sri Lanka, have offered me safe passage and the right of residence in their countries. Whatever else I may have been stuck for, I have not been stuck for choice.

But there is a calling that is yet above high office, fame, lucre and security. It is the call of conscience.

The Sunday Leader has been a controversial newspaper because we say it like we see it: whether it be a spade, a thief or a murderer, we call it by that name. We do not hide behind euphemism. The investigative articles we print are supported by documentary evidence thanks to the public-spiritedness of citizens who at great risk to themselves pass on this material to us. We have exposed scandal after scandal, and never once in these 15 years has anyone proved us wrong or successfully prosecuted us.

The free media serve as a mirror in which the public can see itself sans mascara and styling gel. From us you learn the state of your nation, and especially its management by the people you elected to give your children a better future. Sometimes the image you see in that mirror is not a pleasant one. But while you may grumble in the privacy of your armchair, the journalists who hold the mirror up to you do so publicly and at great risk to themselves. That is our calling, and we do not shirk it.

Every newspaper has its angle, and we do not hide the fact that we have ours. Our commitment is to see Sri Lanka as a transparent, secular, liberal democracy. Think about those words, for they each has profound meaning. Transparent because government must be openly accountable to the people and never abuse their trust. Secular because in a multi-ethnic and multi-cultural society such as ours, secularism offers the only common ground by which we might all be united. Liberal because we recognise that all human beings are created different, and we need to accept others for what they are and not what we would like them to be. And democratic... well, if you need me to explain why that is important, you'd best stop buying this paper.

The Sunday Leader has never sought safety by unquestioningly articulating the majority view. Let's face it, that is the way to sell newspapers. On the contrary, as our opinion pieces over the years amply demonstrate, we often voice ideas that many people find distasteful. For example, we have consistently espoused the view that while separatist terrorism must be eradicated, it is more important to address the root causes of terrorism, and urged government to view Sri Lanka's ethnic strife in the context of history and not through the telescope of terrorism. We have also agitated against state terrorism in the so-called war against terror, and made no secret of our horror that Sri Lanka is the only country in the world routinely to bomb its own citizens. For these views we have been labelled traitors, and if this be treachery, we wear that label proudly.

Many people suspect that The Sunday Leader has a political agenda: it does not. If we appear more critical of the government than of the opposition it is only because we believe that - pray excuse cricketing argot - there is no point in bowling to the fielding side. Remember that for the few years of our existence in which the UNP was in office, we proved to be the biggest thorn in its flesh, exposing excess and corruption wherever it occurred. Indeed, the steady stream of embarrassing expos‚s we published may well have served to precipitate the downfall of that government.

Neither should our distaste for the war be interpreted to mean that we support the Tigers. The LTTE are among the most ruthless and bloodthirsty organisations ever to have infested the planet. There is no gainsaying that it must be eradicated. But to do so by violating the rights of Tamil citizens, bombing and shooting them mercilessly, is not only wrong but shames the Sinhalese, whose claim to be custodians of the dhamma is forever called into question by this savagery, much of which is unknown to the public because of censorship.

What is more, a military occupation of the country's north and east will require the Tamil people of those regions to live eternally as second-class citizens, deprived of all self respect. Do not imagine that you can placate them by showering "development" and "reconstruction" on them in the post-war era. The wounds of war will scar them forever, and you will also have an even more bitter and hateful Diaspora to contend with. A problem amenable to a political solution will thus become a festering wound that will yield strife for all eternity. If I seem angry and frustrated, it is only because most of my countrymen - and all of the government - cannot see this writing so plainly on the wall.

It is well known that I was on two occasions brutally assaulted, while on another my house was sprayed with machine-gun fire. Despite the government's sanctimonious assurances, there was never a serious police inquiry into the perpetrators of these attacks, and the attackers were never apprehended. In all these cases, I have reason to believe the attacks were inspired by the government. When finally I am killed, it will be the government that kills me.

The irony in this is that, unknown to most of the public, Mahinda and I have been friends for more than a quarter century. Indeed, I suspect that I am one of the few people remaining who routinely addresses him by his first name and uses the familiar Sinhala address oya when talking to him. Although I do not attend the meetings he periodically holds for newspaper editors, hardly a month passes when we do not meet, privately or with a few close friends present, late at night at President's House. There we swap yarns, discuss politics and joke about the good old days. A few remarks to him would therefore be in order here.

Mahinda, when you finally fought your way to the SLFP presidential nomination in 2005, nowhere were you welcomed more warmly than in this column. Indeed, we broke with a decade of tradition by referring to you throughout by your first name. So well known were your commitments to human rights and liberal values that we ushered you in like a breath of fresh air. Then, through an act of folly, you got yourself involved in the Helping Hambantota scandal. It was after a lot of soul-searching that we broke the story, at the same time urging you to return the money. By the time you did so several weeks later, a great blow had been struck to your reputation. It is one you are still trying to live down.

You have told me yourself that you were not greedy for the presidency. You did not have to hanker after it: it fell into your lap. You have told me that your sons are your greatest joy, and that you love spending time with them, leaving your brothers to operate the machinery of state. Now, it is clear to all who will see that that machinery has operated so well that my sons and daughter do not themselves have a father.

In the wake of my death I know you will make all the usual sanctimonious noises and call upon the police to hold a swift and thorough inquiry. But like all the inquiries you have ordered in the past, nothing will come of this one, too. For truth be told, we both know who will be behind my death, but dare not call his name. Not just my life, but yours too, depends on it.

Sadly, for all the dreams you had for our country in your younger days, in just three years you have reduced it to rubble. In the name of patriotism you have trampled on human rights, nurtured unbridled corruption and squandered public money like no other President before you. Indeed, your conduct has been like a small child suddenly let loose in a toyshop. That analogy is perhaps inapt because no child could have caused so much blood to be spilled on this land as you have, or trampled on the rights of its citizens as you do. Although you are now so drunk with power that you cannot see it, you will come to regret your sons having so rich an inheritance of blood. It can only bring tragedy.

As for me, it is with a clear conscience that I go to meet my Maker. I wish, when your time finally comes, you could do the same. I wish. As for me, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I walked tall and bowed to no man. And I have not travelled this journey alone. Fellow journalists in other branches of the media walked with me: most of them are now dead, imprisoned without trial or exiled in far-off lands. Others walk in the shadow of death that your Presidency has cast on the freedoms for which you once fought so hard. You will never be allowed to forget that my death took place under your watch. As anguished as I know you will be, I also know that you will have no choice but to protect my killers: you will see to it that the guilty one is never convicted. You have no choice. I feel sorry for you, and Shiranthi will have a long time to spend on her knees when next she goes for Confession for it is not just her owns sins which she must confess, but those of her extended family that keeps you in office.

As for the readers of The Sunday Leader, what can I say but Thank You for supporting our mission. We have espoused unpopular causes, stood up for those too feeble to stand up for themselves, locked horns with the high and mighty so swollen with power that they have forgotten their roots, exposed corruption and the waste of your hard-earned tax rupees, and made sure that whatever the propaganda of the day, you were allowed to hear a contrary view. For this I - and my family - have now paid the price that I have long known I will one day have to pay. I am - and have always been - ready for that. I have done nothing to prevent this outcome: no security, no precautions. I want my murderer to know that I am not a coward like he is, hiding behind human shields while condemning thousands of innocents to death. What am I among so many? It has long been written that my life would be taken, and by whom. All that remains to be written is when.

That The Sunday Leader will continue fighting the good fight, too, is written. For I did not fight this fight alone. Many more of us have to be - and will be - killed before The Leader is laid to rest. I hope my assassination will be seen not as a defeat of freedom but an inspiration for those who survive to step up their efforts. Indeed, I hope that it will help galvanise forces that will usher in a new era of human liberty in our beloved motherland. I also hope it will open the eyes of your President to the fact that however many are slaughtered in the name of patriotism, the human spirit will endure and flourish. Not all the Rajapakses combined can kill that.

People often ask me why I take such risks and tell me it is a matter of time before I am bumped off. Of course I know that: it is inevitable. But if we do not speak out now, there will be no one left to speak for those who cannot, whether they be ethnic minorities, the disadvantaged or the persecuted. An example that has inspired me throughout my career in journalism has been that of the German theologian, Martin Niem"ller. In his youth he was an anti-Semite and an admirer of Hitler. As Nazism took hold in Germany, however, he saw Nazism for what it was: it was not just the Jews Hitler sought to extirpate, it was just about anyone with an alternate point of view. Niem"ller spoke out, and for his trouble was incarcerated in the Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps from 1937 to 1945, and very nearly executed. While incarcerated, Niem"ller wrote a poem that, from the first time I read it in my teenage years, stuck hauntingly in my mind:

First they came for the Jews

and I did not speak out

because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists

and I did not speak out

because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists

and I did not speak out

because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me

and there was no one left

to speak out for me.

If you remember nothing else, remember this: The Leader is there for you, be you Sinhalese, Tamil, Muslim, low-caste, homosexual, dissident or disabled. Its staff will fight on, unbowed and unafraid, with the courage to which you have become accustomed. Do not take that commitment for granted. Let there be no doubt that whatever sacrifices we journalists make, they are not made for our own glory or enrichment: they are made for you. Whether you deserve their sacrifice is another matter. As for me, God knows I tried.

"i have a dream..."

(from a speech to the mount toasmasters club in november 2008)

Winston Churchill once famously said that you could trust the Americans to do the right thing, after they have tried every other alternative. Over the past decade, a similar healthy cynicism of America was warranted but with the election of Barack Hussein Obama as the 44th President of the United States, the Americans regained some measure of the idealism that symbolizes the country - to themselves and to the rest of the world. The American Presidential election gives hope to all those round the globe who believe in the strength of democracy, the rights of the individual and the possibility of dreams. Moreover, the result has clear resonance for us in Sri Lanka.

A few months ago, I gave a ride to some children of some friends of mine after a cricket match. The talk in the car was all about Obama and the American elections. One bossy little girl even made reference to Martin Luther King’s “dream” speech. I was astonished. These kids were all of 9 years old and I realized that something was afoot in the world.

As a boy, I was hooked on all things American, especially John F. Kennedy and the space program. I had my ear glued to our little valve radio set (remember those?) when Neil Armstrong said “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”. I loved the stories about Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence, about Lincoln and the American civil war, the wild wild west and Chief Sitting Bull and how America changed the world with their intervention in World War 2. I was sold on tales about the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, Bell, Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project, not to mention Mark Twain, Hemingway, Bob Dylan and hot dogs.

Who can argue with the opening preamble from the Declaration of Independence which reads;

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed…”

Alright, maybe “creator” is arguable but the rest is pure idealism. Unfortunately (or fortunately as the case may be), one does tend to grow up. Among my watershed moments there were two that defined my subsequent cynicism of matters American and the beacon on the hill illusion. I remember reading a newspaper report of the Mai Lai massacre in Vietnam and then there was this book called “The Quiet American” by Graham Greene. My idols, it seemed, had enormous feet of clay. I learnt that Kennedy was not quite the saint he was made out to be. Then there was the Saigon airlift, Watergate and Contragate.

We had the American intervention in Nicaragua and their constant refusal to recognize (until recently) the State of Palestine and the isolation of Cuba. More recently, we had the war on Iraq, Guantanomo Bay, atrocities in Afghanistan, Bush’s refusal to sign the Koyoto Principals and the business with hanging chad that was to cost Al Gore and the world dearly.

And yet, despite growing cynicism, there was the thought that one would far prefer an imperfect America and her damaged ideas of democracy than other forms of “democracy” elsewhere on the globe – or communism for that matter.

Democracy as a system of Government by the people for the people is fundamentally important for the survival of our societies. At its core, the concept is all about elected representation and integrity. It about each individual’s right to universally recognized freedoms and liberties. If you think about it, democracy is not about the rule of the majority but about inclusiveness of minorities. In our world, these concepts have been damaged, twisted, and turned around.

Barack Hussein Obama is an African American. The African Americans make up about 12.8% of the population of the United States and within that percentage, people from Kenya are an even smaller minority. Mind you, the population of the United States of America is approx. 300 million. In fact, the Rev Jessie Jackson, the black civil rights veteran said that Obama was not black enough for the Presidency. Obama’s middle name, in the context of 9/11 and the subsequent attitude of Americans to Islam, by itself should have made it difficult for him to live in America and be a public figure - leave aside run for the highest office in the land.

Apart from all this is the fact that hardly 40 years ago, blacks were non citizens in their own country. They had to stand at the back of busses, drink water from fountains that were marked “coloreds”, could not eat in restaurants that white America ate at, had separate schools and even separate bathing areas on the beach. Amazingly, when it occurred, the “mixed’ marriage of Obama’s parents was illegal in 19 of the United States. Blacks in power were pictured in the inward eye in the way that inter galactic flight and water driven cars were looked at. Pure fiction. One of the defining pictures of the election was the Rev. Jessie Jackson in tears of joy and wonder that the “dream” was coming true. It matters not if Obama turns out to be an even worse President than Bush (although one hopes otherwise!). What does matter is the fact of his election and the will of a people to change.

Kennedy quoting John Winthrop said;

"We must always consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill--the eyes of all people are upon us."

And so it proved to be on the 4th of November as the results of the American Presidential election scrolled in.

In his soaring acceptance speech, Obama spoke of bending the arc of history to make a better world. It is in that moment, in the context of the sum total of the achievements of his election, that there is resonance for us in Sri Lanka as well. After all the American Republic is only 230 years old and we in Sri Lanka have the benefit of 2,500 years of unparallel history.

On that remarkable night of the 4th of November, Obama went on to say;

“This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: yes, we can. “

Someone once said that man is the only animal who laughs. Equally so, man is the only animal who dares to hope. I have a dream that somewhere in Sri Lanka, on some remote dusty playing field, there is a kid screaming out to his or her mates. “We can! Yes, we can!”. And, in fading light, the other children gather around this child.

sunscreen and the meaning of lif

randy pausch, the guy who gave that "the last lecture" series, died yesterday. he was 47. in case you lived on mars these past few months and have not heard of randy, his lecture both in text form and video can be seen here;


which made me remember that sunscreen song. remember that? this is the original article it was based on;

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young
A newspaper column by Mary Schmich, published by the Chicago Tribune on 01 June 1997.

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Copyright © 2006, Chicago Tribune

this 'n that

"animus facessere anima audere"

"the will to do, the soul to dare."

pearls.....

from an email doing the rounds.

1. expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. think about it.

2. if beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration! at least you would have a good reason to keep your clothes on now!!

3. don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! that's called attitude...! keep on rocking!

4. every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

5. he was a good man. he never smoked, drank & had no affair. when hedied, the insurance company refused the claim. they said, he who never lived, cannot die!

6. only 20 percent girls have brains, rest have boyfriends!

7. all desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

8. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

moi

from a speech to the toastmasters club on 9th july 2008

In the wee hours of the morning in the middle of a hot August in 1959, up in Kandy, an elephant in the Kandy perahara, ran amok. 8 people died and scores were injured. Some were gored by the enraged pachyderm whilst many others were trampled during the ensuing human stampede. The incident is relevant not only because of the ensuing human tragedy but also because at the precise moment in time, in the Kandy hospital kicking and squalling, a child was born. That child was me and ever since then I have had a most peculiar relationship with elephants. The relationship is straight line and one dimensional. They see me. They get enraged. They charge. My friends tell me that this is not altogether unusual.

I have an early recollection of being taken to the Dehiwela zoo and standing near the elephant enclosure. An enormous trunk comes out of no where and swipes me flat. Elephants in the enclosure seem agitated. The incident was not connected with those at my birth and I survived my formative years without further trauma and no contact with the beasts as I was never taken to the zoo again. Then, in the early ‘80’s, I was posted to Trincomalee as branch manager to Aitken Spence Insurance where I had started my working carrier. I used to travel to Colombo for meetings on a little Yahama RS 125 motorcycle. One morning I was peacefully putt putting past a place called the Yakka Wangua on the Kantalai - Harbarana road, when out of the morning mist an elephant burst out of the thick jungle and ran madly after me. The encounters thereafter came thick and fast.

Handapanagala; and together with some friends we had gone down to the tank one evening to watch elephants. We were standing on a rock near the water and watching a herd in the distance, when from the nearby jungle another troop of the beasts approached. Two males erupted from the group and hurtled towards our group making us hurriedly scramble up the rock for safety. We were stuck there until well after night fell and had to be extricated by some other visitors. At Yala every time I visited with family or friends we had a close encounters with the animals whilst at Udawalawe the beasts appeared even more irritated. A couple of years ago at the park with some visiting cousins we sped round a track and were slap bang in the middle of a large herd. 5 of the animals immediately rushed the jeep trumpeting angrily. We were only saved by the tracker who leaned out of vehicle and shouted something at the animals. They stopped reluctantly, almost at the bonnet of our vehicle and stood shoulder to shoulder not allowing us to pass for a number of hours. Once again, we had to be rescued by a passing vehicle. More recently on a trip to Trinco with some cousins, we stopped at Habarana for an evening trip into the surrounding jungle. After a rather boring drive in the tall lemon grass we headed back to the Harbarana town when out of the gloom trumpeting madly – you guessed it – an elephant charged our jeep. I swear to you it looked the same as the one which charged my bike all those years ago.


I have no idea what this all means except that none of my family and friends will now come on holidays or trips with me where there is the remotest sniff of elephant. The only assumption that does make some logic is that, perhaps, I was a negative impact on elephants in some past existence.

In my life, elephantine issues are not restricted to encounters with the animals as I also have an unfortunate habit, like Don Quixote of old, of tilting at windmills. That is, taking on impossible issues. Two examples one from the distant past and one more recent will serve to illustrate my point.

In the late 70’s, the teaching staff in the college I was studying at, decided to go on strike. One of them, in their wisdom had assaulted the college Rector and had been thoroughly sacked and the others, in their wisdom, decided to take on the college and church authorities by striking. Not satisfied with that. this group of upstanding individuals went around from class to class, grade 1 right up to the AL’s classes asking them to walk out as well. They politely reminded the kids that they were in a position of power to decide on passing exams, university entrances etc. and it would be a healthy choice to support them. As senior prefects of the school, 5 of us decided that this was wrong any way you sliced it and decided to run the school ourselves. When the teachers did walk off one morning, the five of us divided the school into 5 broad areas and held the students in the classes. However, slowly as the day wore on one by one our colleagues found the task too difficult until by day end only two of us were left holding the fort, like Custer at his last stand. Subsequently, we had long serious meetings with the authorities, wrote lengthy reports, wrote protests to the Church authorities etc to no avail. The Church authorities transferred the Rector to another school, the teacher in question was reinstated and we resigned. My disdain of organized religion dates back to this period.

More recently, the professional association of which I am a council member was headed in a direction which was beneficial only to the larger more established members. Reasoning and lengthy meeting with them to take a more balanced view of the requirements of all members big and small were ignored. These were a group of people who are among the most powerful in the industry in which I earn a living. However, their actions were clearly self serving and a small group of us decided, after repeatedly failing to get them to see reason, to “un-elect” them at the Annual General Meeting of the association. This we successfully did and today the association’s activity is more in keeping with a democratic process than it used to be.


My life is peppered with these kind of issues which seem to charge out at me from the mist and fog of life. Most end with egg on my face but sometimes they succeed and then it seems to make all the other times worthwhile. I am resigned to and quite comfortable with this peculiar aspect of my character.

I am a Dutch Burger and the Dutch Burger Union in Colombo has about 171 regular members. That number is in decline. My particular ancestor landed in Colombo as an ensign on board a Dutch trading vessel in 1741. I am the last of my line left in Sri Lanka and when I die, the genealogical line in Sri Lanka, which I represent, dies out as well. My middle name sandwiched between two thorough Dutch names is “Lasantha” and I used to get kidded a lot by my cousins and friends about it. However, when I was old enough for such things to annoy me I asked my father about it. He told me that I was born during what was a mass exodus of burghers from Sri Lanka due to the polices and strategies of the political thinkers of the time. No one knew where we would be in the years ahead and times were uncertain but he wanted, he said, to gift me with a permanent connection to the country of my birth and which would, no matter what, be a part of me. I retain that fierce pride in being a Sri Lankan – and never mind the charging elephants, and these days the occasional tiger.

ajantha mendia - from "the mbb" of 30th june 2008

this one is on cricket. so those of you who prefer lacrosse, may want to hit the delete button now. was watching the asia cup match between sri lanka and parkistan yesterday. chasing sri lanka's healthy 302 parkistan were not doing too shabbily by the 22nd over at 100 odd for 2 when along with murali, jayawardene introduced the new "spinner" ajantha mendis. the two of them bowled in tandem and the match effectively ended for the parkistanis. it was a what spin bowling is all about.

mendis played cricket for kandalama and moratu maha vidyalya and then for army in division 2. but, according to his coach in the army he developed all kinds of variety to his bowling on his own. flippers, off spin, leg breaks, googlies, top spinners and something called a carrom ball - all in one over. watching murali and ajantha at the wicket was the perfect treat for a head colded sunday evening. brilliant stuff.

mendis is a future of sri lankan spin bowling and i would advise you lot to go watch him. the jayasuriya of spin bowling.

read more about him here;

yes two cents, you can leave that stephen king at home.

talking of jayasuriya, he slammed a 100 against the hapless bangladeshis' today ( sri lanka 282 for 5 in 42 overs at the moment). it is also his 39th birthday. only ( the great) boycott was slightly older when he scored a century in one day cricket. some people ( not me of course) say he ( boycott not jayasuriya) batted like me. and, i too am nearing 39.

ps. sri lanka won the asia cup by beating india in the finals on sunday. jayasuriya scored a scintillating century and ajantha mendis had 6 for 13!

the elements of our lives

it's a depressing saturday morning in colombo. heavy quilted black clouds hang low over the city, from rim to rim. it's rains in gusts. the air is oppressive and you expect that at any time unspeakable things will emerge from gaps in the ether to wage vile devastation on the land. a stray mangy dog covers wet and trembling, tail between legs, in the shuttered door way of a kade.

yesterday, there was an email doing the rounds ( i even got a copy from oz) quoting the defense ministry web site that our forces are on the verge of victory in the north. a second e mail spoke of islamic radicals being trained in terrorism on the eastern coast. the day earlier, the e mails spoke of the mayhem the ltte was planning in the west and south of the country. the front pages of the papers speak of various people ( even women and kids) being abducted from homes in colombo. petrol shot up by 30 bucks a week ago, inflation is around 30%, rice is not freely available and prices of food items are sky high. and so it goes.

strangely though, people seem resigned to matters which seem out of their control and there has been largely no significant grumblings or protests.

today's daily mirror has an interesting article by corydon ireland of the harvard news office. he talks of louise richarson, an expert on terrorism. as dean of the radcliffe institute for advanced study, she has made radcliffe the center for a number of interesting discussions on the origins, nature and answers to terrorism. she had even managed to get former ltte carders and retired sri lankan forces personnel to talk to each other at these discussions. richardson says that terrorism can be defined as the deliberate and violent targeting of civilians for political purposes. it requires a violent cocktail - a disaffected individual, an enabling community and a legitimizing ideology. any terrorist wants three immediate objectives, what she calls the three "rs" - revenge, renown and reaction. she acknowledges that not all attacks can be prevented but democratic governments can temper and control their reactions.

one major finding to emerge from the discussions at radcliffe is that the longer a conflict goes on, the more reformists are marginalized, and the more ruthless, tough and intractable the leaders of resistance become. according to the lady, fighting terrorism requires having a defensible and achievable goal - and "eliminating terror" is neither. fighting terrorism requires living by democratic principals, knowing your enemy, finding allies, maintaining perspective, and separating terrorists from their communities.

which brings me to the hetti. the bugger terrorized the mendis' and moi at the ch last week. we had retired to that watering hole to meditate on the st peters royal rugby encounter which the later won convincingly. the hetti was of course in his element - all gracious and superior - at our expense. we had a good jaw, retired to rr for some hoppers, beef curry and katta sambol - and solved a few more problems. it was a good night, rugby apart. ( as a connected story i am happy to report that st peters beat isipathana yesterday 8 - 7 and there was not a peep out of the hetti).

an explosion in the fort

beside the lake, beneath the trees,
silvered shrapnel,
fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

( with no apologies to wordsworth. 9 dead, 90 injured)

the call of lanka

I climbed o'er the crags of Lanka
And gazed on her golden sea,
And out of her ancient places,
Her soul came forth to me:
Give me a Bard" said Lanka,
"My Bard of things to be"

My cities are laid in ruins,
"Their courts through the jungle spread,
"My sceptre is long departed"
And the stranger lord instead,
"You give me a bard said Lanka,
"I am living, I am not dead."

"For high in my highland valleys,
"And low in my lowland plains
"The pride of the past is pulling
"Hot in the peoples veins
"Give me a Bard" said Lanka
"A Bard for my joys and pains.

"I offer a voice O Lanka,
I, child of an alien isle,
For my heart has heard thee, and kindled,
My eyes have seen thee, and smile;
Take Foster Mother, and use it;
Tis for a little while.

For surely of thine own children,
Born of thy womb shall rise
The Bard of the moonlit jungle,
The Bard of the tropic skies,
Warm from his mothers bosom,
Bright from his mothers eyes.

He shall hymn thee of hoar Sripada,
The peak that is lone and tall,
He shall hymn with crags of Dunhinda,
The smoking waterfall;
Whatsoever is fair in Lanka
He shall know it and love it all.

He shall sing thee of sheer Sigiriya,
Of Minneriya's wandering kine,
He shall sing of the lakes and lotus,
He shall sing of the rock hewn srine,
Whatsoever is old in Lanka,S
hall live in his lordly line.

But most shall sing of Lanka
In the brave new days to come,
When the races have all blended,
And the voice of strife is dumb;
We will leap to a single bugle,
March to a single drum.

March to a mighty purpose,
One man from shore to shore,
The stranger become a brother,
The task of the tutor o'er;
When the ruined city rises
And the palace gleams once more.

Hark ! Bard of the fateful future,
Hark ! Bard of the light To-Be,
A voice on the verdant montains,
A voice on the golden sea;
Rise child of Lanka and answer !
Thy mother hath called to Thee.

Rev. Stanley Senior 1876-1938

media freedom, mr. president? - 15th march 2008

do the continued attacks on the staff of the state television channel, rupavahini and absence of any action by the powers that be on the perpetrator, burnish the statement as reported in the press today, that sri lanka has “untrammeled media freedom”? on my planet, the fact that the authorities choose not to act in the continued intimidation, harassment and unbridled attacks on the staff of the state tv channel that dared to take a stand against thuggery and injustice, means that the said powers are supportive of such actions. and, by any stretch of the imagination, these actions or lack of them, are not indicative of a free media. on the contrary, they are indicative of a political culture of suppression, corruption and total disrespect of individual rights. it begs the question why the authorities fear to act. untrammeled is uncomfortably close to trammeled.

rupavahini’s reactions to a certain minister's trespassing of their premises, which preceded the current set of reprisals on it’s staff, are but a first step in action by the people for the people. i cannot say that i have ever been a fan of the channel, which has always been a conduit for the government of the day’s propaganda. however, any worm can turn and what a turn it has been! for those of us who enjoyed and applauded the spectacle of rough justice being metered out to an individual symbolic of what sri lanka is slipping into, there rests an implied responsibility to protect such reactions. like the staff of rupavahini, it is time for people to stand up and be heard.

nothing lasts forever, and all of this will pass. what is necessary (apart from taking a stand) is that it must be made clear that strong action, even if it is to be in the future, will be taken against those who choose to disrespect the people of our beloved nation. our leaders must pledge to throw the proverbial book at the miscreants and their ilk including their ill gotten assets. with no apology to the politicians, this must also be the pledge of the international community.

one final thought, someone once said that the problem with political jokes is that they get elected.

saturday reds - 8/3/2008

weelllllll, shiver me timbers and rattle me bones! things are looking up for sri lanka. we kicked out rama mani who headed the international center for ethnic studies, for questioning us on human rights. if the human rights watch last week said sri lanka has the worst human rights abuse in the world, they are just a part of this big international conspiracy. as for the group of eminent persons appointed by the government to overlook the massacre of those 17 aid workers in the east and the killings of schoolgirls et al, and who flew out of sri lanka last week in disgust, well they were just a part of this thing to discredit sri lanka. and besides, look, we supply food and other aid to the people in the north. what other country supplies terrorists, as the prime minister said last week? these internationals are talking cock, men. what human rights abuses? we love the tamils.

and, it's this bloody free media. we are going to pass a bill to ensure that the free media is free.

see, a boat load of bangladeshis and burmese ended up in trinco last week. obviously things in sri lanka are much better than in those blighted countries. the economy is doing well. don't listen to those who say it it isn't. cost of living high? no. no. we have re done the calculation and now people actually have excess cash. inflation? i shay, what for the telling? these people are just buying plasma tv's and motorcycles they don't need. we can grow rice and manioc, no? enough to eat. and this corruption thing has always been there. it's just that the money is more, so have to bribe more, no? yes, men. the politicians have got to live well and show off to the internationals. can't do this in a mazda. we will borrow more money, men, from the internationals and everything will be ok.

and, then there is india. the jvp is absolutely right in trying to kick out all indians from sri lanka. we don't need india either. they are just trying to get the trinco port. look, indian oil is already owning the tank farms in china bay. soon it will be parliament. must stop this men. yendiya for de yendians. sri lanka for sri lankans. and, we really do love the tamils. but we must not feed the terrorists in the north. we are killing 50 to 60 everyday. we will walk into killinochchi soon. no . no. not april or august this year. rains you know. maybe december next year. oh. by the way, last month, 108 sri lankan soldiers died and 800 odd injured. very little. but, we love the tamils.

things in sri lanka are good, men. paradise. government is doing a good job. we are winning the war. economy is good. only thing is these internationals interfering. they should all go away and give us the money everytime we ask for it. put a little in our own account. only a little.

one problem. the cricket team must be sacked. but we love murali.

saturday reds - 16/2/2008

today's daily mirror says that in modara the police have distributed forms asking for household information including details of bank accounts and balances. a few months i go, two forms were delivered to our home asking for different bits of similar information ( but not bank account details). as i wrote, i threw them in the garbage bin. a pal of mine in office told me that if a bomb goes off in colombo it will be my fault for not giving the information.

i simply cannot believe that essentially good people can take this kind of stuff without even the semblance of a protest.

( this is translated from a German poem)

When the Nazis came for the communists,

I remained silent;

I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,

I remained silent;

I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,

I did not speak out;

I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,

I remained silent;

I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,

there was no one left to speak out.

- Pastor Martin Niemoller ( 1892 - 1884)

History

An early supporter of Hitler, by 1934 Niemöller had come to oppose the Nazis, and it was largely his high connections to influential and wealthy businessmen that saved him until 1937, after which he was imprisoned, eventually at Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps. He survived to be a leading voice of penance and reconciliation for the German people after World War II. His poem is well-known, frequently quoted, and is a popular model for describing the dangers of political apathy, as it often begins with specific and targeted fear and hatred which soon escalates out of control.

from wikepedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came...

the mid week blues - 30/1/2008

"heaven", as the bishop said to the chorus girl, "is a state of mind."

we, in sri lanka, or at any rate we lot in the western and southern part of the island, are on cloud 9. prabarakan is dead or at least badly injured (by all accounts), daily around 30 to 40 ltters are being killed ( at this rate the blighters will be all gone by october), we are gaining ground on a three pronged encircling of kilinochchi - and terrorism will be over in months. sri lanka it seems is well on the road to untold riches and prosperity. yeah, gods and little fishes.

sorry to rain on the parade, poop on the party and throw a spanner in the works but i beg to differ. the other day i was called an ltte sympathizer by two separate people for expressing reservations about current developments in sri lanka. "no!" said i, spiritedly " i am sympathetic to the tamil point of view".

"ah, but are you sympathetic to the singhalese point of view" shot back the lass in question. i was miffed but held my peace ( the lass has considerable clout so to speak) but truth be told i am sympathetic to the sri lankan point of view i.e. a united sri lanka. i think current developments and war without an offer to address the issues of the tamils will eventually be meaningless. denzil kobbekaduwa, at the height of his successful campaign on jaffna in the mid 1980's gave an interview to the press in which he said that the problem with the ltte cannot be solved militarily and that the issues of the tamils have to be solved politically. we all know what happened to that particular patriot.

i think the abrogation of the ceasefire agreement was silly, and together with human rights abuses will cause untold damage to the country in the eyes of the international community in the years and decades to come. the actual toll of the current war is probably far higher than is being reported in the press. it's not our kids who are dying on the battle fields, our kids are safely in overseas schools and universities. it's the guy in the south and the north who are doing the fighting. and, don't we care how many civilians die in the north and east anyway or are they acceptable collateral damage? yesterday a school bus in mannar was targeted killing 9 kids and the news on the colombo airways was about heath ledger's death and the upcoming cricket tournament in oz.

the level of corruption in sri lanka does not give me much confidence that war is being fought for noble causes either. what's noble about dollars in a swiss account?

look at the world around us. nowhere ( apart from the punjab and in chechnya and both of those were fought by super countries with more resources than we have) has a conflict like this ended up in total defeat of one side. conflicts of this nature have always ended up on the negotiation table. i believe that the overall risk on the road we are traveling on ( and it is the one more traveled not less) is the very thing we are fighting to prevent. and, i believe that particular risk can and should ( and ultimately will - after much grief) be addressed differently. is there a time for war? unfortunately the answer is yes.

and, what options are we leaving the tamil community? who talks or represents them?

it was at this point that the good lass accused me of being an ltte sympathizer. nothing of course could be further from the truth. i am a sri lankan and believe in a united country including jaffna (and trinco, please note) but one in which the tamils will have a level of self determination. i believe that this simple thing is what will hold the country together. it is absolutely depressing to me that after 30 years of carnage, the majority in sri lanka think other wise.

i fear otherwise.

"a state of mind", said the chorus girl to the bishop rather tartly, " is anything you want it to be. "

the monday blues bulletin - 31/12/2007

ams and the plasma tv never arrived.

in sri lanka, we are in one of the deepest holes that we have ever been in. even the government newspeak says there will be open war as they attempt to crush the ltte. gone is any semblance of peace. gone too is the need to address grievances of the tamils ( not necessary, "they" say. the ltte will be defeated by august). posters around colombo tell us that we must be prepared to make great sacrifices for the glory of the motherland. down with the international imperialists. who needs foreign aid? as for corruption at the highest of levels, prove it if you can. after all "they" are safe guarding the country. dutugemunu rides again.

the other night there was an impatient knock on the gate. cops, again. (rr seems to be a magnet for cops.) they were looking for number 25. i told them that it was now a bare land but that there was a watcher in a tin hut living there. the cops said they had an emergency call to say that some people were speaking tamil. i watched them as they drove up to the land and saw them bundle some people into the back of the van.

a few weeks ago someone dropped of an official looking form at home. it reads ' survey of households for the greater security of sri lanka" or something like that. in it, one has to declare all kinds of personal details of everyone staying at the address. no covering letter, no explanation of who is collecting this information or what is to be done with the info. i put it in the dust bin and i may disappear as a consequence. this is only half a joke.

the mervin silva saga ( type mervin silva into google's news engine and enjoy) is an excellent reflection of sri lankan's plight. the real story is why the powers that be do nothing to remove the idiotic man despite this dangerous antics over the years.

inflation is now officially at 20%.

doom and gloom bulletin is what this rag is turning out to be. but, the bleakness of the future makes it so. and, if that was not enough, ams and the plasma tv never arrived. ( did i mention that before?)

having said that it is in the human experience to hope. the supreme court ruled that permanent road blocks are unconstitutional. a few days ago a magistrate told the police that they will have to arrest all those involved with the mervin silva invasion of rupavahini. the west, it seems, is making some serious noises about holding people in sri lanka responsible for atrocities. anyway, hope 2008 will be peaceful and bright for the rest of you yahoos. it will not be for sri lanka - that's a prediction.

by the way, has anyone, i wonder, seen ams with a 52" plasma tv?

saturday reds - 15/12/2007

how long? how long? ( as the eagles say. check out their new album. good karaoke stuff.)

...anybay....

how's things? yeah. yeah. i know. at this age they do tend to be that swing-low-sweet-chariot thingy. but such is life. sri lanka, is much the same. a pack of muppets in parliament as well without any of the humor. yesterday for instance the country was all agog with the possibility of the ruling party losing the budget debate. anura bandaranayke, the old miss piggy that he is, dramatically crossed over to the opposition and then found himself on the losing side of a 114 - 67 score line. no doubt, the previous evening saw the international banks involved with a rash of activity as money moved. the few days before, some tamil politicians had their family members abducted by unknown persons. eventually, it was a non event as the government won handsomely. late evening with the noise of crackers going off, it must felt like a new years morn. and, perhaps, it was for us as well.

a few weeks ago, the supreme court ruled that permanent check points were an infringement of personal liberty. in a fit of pique, the government has dismantled all the check points in the city. this means that every cat and a pipe bomb is probably roaming around and waiting to blow me up. we do not get much news of what is happening up in the north but people ( i mean all communities and races) are continuing to die. not that many in colombo care. the situation today is no different to what was 20 years ago. we have not moved forward towards a solution, even an inch. the politicians and the arms dealers have of course gotten seriously rich. i mean to say, a VVVIP's son ( a teenager) is supposed to have bought a Rs. 750 million (USD 7 point 5 million) house in colombo. 'nuff said. we are happy eating cake.

in galle, a few weeks ago, the city was bustling with activity as usual. it hasn't grown much but has just become more crowded. the cricket stadium is being reconstructed and the area in front of the old gray fort is a hive of activity. some tsunami camps are still there. the sea at this time of the year looks like blue green glass and the yellow beaches gave the scene a painted, still, look. people were going about their business of living however limited that might mean. in sri lanka, over the years, we have learnt to make do with small measures.

it rainy and cold in colombo these days. lots of christmas songs and carols on the radio. there is peace and goodwill, it seems, in radioland. houses are being painted and furniture varnished. shops are crowded. there is gold and silver tinsel all over the place. heaps of silver stars piled on the ground by vendors selling all kinds of multihued shirts and blouses. two millennia ago a child was said to have been born in a manager.

merry christmas to all of you and your families and a peaceful new year.

worse

the problem with room four
is that it seems to come and go
unlike the millipede on the floor,
squashed, now part decor,
or the ghostie in that gloomy room
who can be heard howling at noon.

jc 9/11/2007

there isn't a room 4!!!

- ams 8/11/2007

now the ghostie made up four,
(not including the milipede on the floor)
and so he had she
and i had my ghosti(sh)e
I hope thats not the way it's going to be
for all eternity

- two cents 8/11/2007


in rakwana there were three,
the verandah lamp, he, she, and me,
not counting the ghost in room four
or the bloated millipede on the floor.
alas! he fled, face ashen, leaving she with me,
and the indignant ghost in room four
and the squashed millipede on the floor.

- jc 8/11/2007

french cricket

being told, by all and sundry, to watch what i write in this space whilst being a sign of the times is not conducive to free style writing. hence the long silence. additionally, some of you yahoos grumble that it is easier to receive the mbb ( or the mwb or the fy’s or the sr’s) by email. meaning that i should contribute my piece in making you, dear reader, lazy. done that.

looking over what i had written in the past, nothing much seems to have changed. in sri lanka these days one feels like a character in asterix in that we fear that the sky will fall on us. 24 hours ago and colombo was abuzz with news of the return of the biggles brigade. quite dimmed the cricket fiesta for a wee bit it did. not for mahinda though who’s flown the coop to be present at the world cup finals in barbados. as if our lads need the additional pressure. perhaps HE needs the photo op. perhaps not.

the sri lankan government are on a high with what appears to be successes with the military push in the east. not much of news or interest for that matter, on refugees and the effect of these measures on civilians. not that any one is interested. the war will be over shortly is the general belief among the general populace – singhalese that is. being a party pooper i should say that i very much doubt it. what irks me is that after all these years there is still no attempt to address the root causes of the war – the aspirations of the tamils. today, the average singhalese believes that nothing should be given or is needed to be given.

i wrote sometime ago that somewhere in sri lanka on some dusty playing field is a young lad ( or lass, i hasten to add, in case am reads this) dreaming of being a sanatha jayasuriya but who has a knack of cutting through knots. he captains his little cricket team and is very unorthodox in his approach to cricket and life in general.

i hope we do win the cricket world cup of 2007. once again as in 1996 the country is briefly united and maybe, just maybe, we can take it further.

never ending story

fighting in the trincomalee area continues with the battle now centered around the mutur area. there have been many casualties on all sides - government forces, the ltte and civilians. all this over an attempt by the government to free up a water way which the ltte had blocked. today's papers indicate that government forces and the ltte have agreed to a temporary ceasefire whilst ulf henriksson head of the sri lanka monitoring mission visits the area.

the jvp have postered the walls of colombo declaring "onwards to kilinochchi". in air-conditioned offices in colombo, corporate sri lanka leans back in plush comfort and sagely reconfirms their desire to crush the ltte militarily.

meanwhile in lebanon, israel continues with their carnage. as kids, we used to devour leon uris and our understanding of the middle east was based on his writings. an aunt of the cousin put this right one day when the two of us tried to argue with her about the rights of israelis. the discussion became family legend but made me do some reading on the issue and turned me to her point of view. check out a good outline of the problem here. together with the americans israelis are sowing the seeds for global rage and terrorism which will blight the globe for generations to come.

it is also relevant to say that south africa is playing sri lanka at cricket and sri lanka has been performing well in the recent past. who was it who said "give the masses cake"? not a cricket lover, obviously.

he comes from jaffna

the government agreed to allow the ltte’s media spokesman, daya master, to be treated at the apollo hospital in colombo. the gentlemen has a heart aliment and the hospital says that he is in a stable condition. meanwhile, in batticoloa, a clash between the ltte and the army left 13 soldiers dead not to mention several ltte cadres. in a separate incident a sailor was killed by the ltte in muttur.

it is weird that the government should assist in treating a member of the ltte for a medical ailment when elsewhere the ltte has no compulsion in killing off government forces. where is the logic in this? people say it’s the humanitarian thing to do and that the government will gain international kudos. maybe. but it is still illogical and demotivating to government troops. it seems to me that somewhere at the top of the heap the thinking is a wee bit muddled. it seems we want war but are trying to wrap it in a mantle of peace.

on the other hand, maybe daya master will have a change of heart.

ruwanda in sri lanka?

god! will we ever learn? another horrendous killing. what makes this one chilling is that it is allegedly done by those sworn to protect the innocent. 'nuff said. these are dangerous times. the beast, it seems, nears bethlehem.

check out the story here.

knots

"we should wipe them out" said my good friend r, his eyes red, his frame trembling with rage. it was 9.30 am on thursday and he stopped by to ask if i heard about the carnage in kebithigollewa. r is a mild guy, head of a very profitable series of businesses and does a lot of charity work. he looks after a family close to the site of the doomed bus. " this is nonsense. why should we talk peace when at every turn they kill and murder? the buggers are living peacefully among us and then they kill our women and kids? "

"we should wipe them out" he said again.

"don't you think" i say as gently as i can after some more minutes of r's rage, " that your reaction is part of what the bomb was aimed at?"

a little later i called b in trinco and the phone spat and crackled. "yeah, it's bad but how do you know it's the ltte? where were you when that family was massacred in mannar? or those kids were murdered in jaffna? or those youth were abducted in batticola? or that village was bombed in sampur? are we forgotten?".

"but you had a chance to vote for peace and did otherwise" i said.

"what vote, machan." he was shouting, " these buggers don't know us. how can they represent us?"

somewhere in sri lanka there is a lad playing cricket on a dusty paddy field who dreams of a time when his father will return home from the battlefield. this lad is the captain of his team and he has a thing about unraveling knots.